The Unknown: The Orange Line.
 


Date: Sun, 15 Nov 1998 10:48:59 -0800 (PST)
From: Frank Marquardt
Subject: Report from Webzine98, Part 1
To: The Unknown


I attended this so-called “conference.” They waived the five dollar admission and took me through the doorway on the back of a camel, once I proved my identity by furnishing, on some dumnbass doorman’s request, my I.D. They had four computers past all the techno-geeks and I bookmarked the Unknown’s URL on each and made it the homepage of two. People asked me to sign their tablets, hands, and tattoos, and I obliged them. Nobody bought me a drink but I winked at the bartender, who liked me, and she handed me a bottle of Tender Jimmy’s Tennessee Moonshine. I indicated this was the bottle I wanted with my tongue. There was a masseuse, and a table with horse tartar, which I ate while having my back stroked. Various techno “luminaries” sat on a stage, surrounded by instruments, and called up URLs on their laptops. I wished the band would come in. I wanted some sassy broad to sing some steamy rock and roll song because URLs, they’re so yawn. Nevertheless, I took mental notes to direct your attention to

www.zing.com and

www.butt.com

which both seemed interesting enough. I left as soon as my speech was over because I didn’t really want the myriads of fans to tear my clothes to pieces. A limo was outside waiting and my bodyguards, two former members of the Spice Girls, got me through the crowd okay. A former Soviet trainer was there to rub my feet and my bodygirls massaged my temples and fed me grapes. et cetera.

NEXT

 

MAP BOOKSTORES PEOPLE
sickening
decadent
hypertext
novel META
fiction
al bull
shit sort of
a doc
ument
ary corr
e
spond
ence art is
cool 
look
at art live
read
ings
CONTACT PRESS ANTHOLOGY

The Unknown at Spineless Books.

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