|  | What Did You Expect, the Unknown? 
 The Unknown Speaks!
 by Frank Marquardt
 Illustrated, 335 pp. New York:
 Grove/Atlantic. Paper, $13.50
 Book Review by Sean Kelly
 
  he last word in the Unknown Speaks! is given to Brian Hagemann, the network supervisor who first hosted the hypertext novel in a hidden folder on the Peace Education server at the University of Cincinnati. the Unknown, he concludes, wasnt influential at all. 
 Everyone currently employed as a comedy writer in Silicon Alley is a geeky alumnus of a low-rent state university whereas, until 1999, everyone employed as a comedy writer in Silicon Alley was either some ivy league smartass or a graduate of the School of Hard Knocks, preferably Brooklyn. And the reason for this change in hiring practices of the Humor Moguls is that William Gillespie, Frank Marquardt, and Scott Rettberg all went to Illinois State University for their Mastersdegrees, and Rettberg joined Dirk Stratton at still another low-rent state university, the University of Cincinnati.
 
 Otherwise, sad to say, Marquardt has a point. Once, before our wondering 
        eyes, a sequence involving Dirk in orbit, being 
        fed through an umbilical and forced to write was followed by a discussion 
        of feminist philosophy and vomiting 
        in an airplane. Then and there many of us assumed that some 
        kind of revolution was being broadcast on the Internet, that the worldat 
        least the little world of hypertext comedywas changed 
        utterly, But the Unknowns style of cognitively punning, surreal 
        continuity (but how do we explore the spaces between understandings 
        of things?) has had no lasting influence on hypertext comedy. From 
        Saturday Night Net through In Living Cyberspace 
        and beyond, online comedies still begin with a premise 
        and then proceed (mostly downhill) to the punchline 
        and Flash animation; and a majority of hypertexts on the Internet continue 
        to be spoofs of other Web sites, despite the Unknowns demonstrating 
        that laughs could be extracted from subjects like brawling 
        poets, Shakespearean bowling, the death 
        of rock stars and bookselling monopolies.
 
 Whatever the Unknown were doing, it was satire. (The plethora of topical political references account, in part, for the hypertexts quality of datedness. It seemed as if the Unknown was already dated the day it was launched, a throwback to a forgotten age that perhaps never existed.) Much of the humor, as when a dowdy housewife complained, Kids were very different back then. They didnt have their heads filled with all this Dirk Stratton dualism, or when William Gaddis materializes to play pool with the Unknown, in a scene with almost no dialogue. This form of drollerycall it Pynchon Goes to the Laundromathas been a staple of American, or at any rate New Yorker, humor since the days of S.J. Perelman and Peter De Vries.
 
 Scenes from the Unknown have been recycled on Comedy Central and public television, and A&E is currently doing the series on Saturday nights, although with mood-shattering commercial interruptions. According to the Unknown Speaks! its lucky the hypertext ended up being seen here at all. Those guys couldnt change a flat tire, much less write their ways out of a cardboard box. Marquardt writes, explaining that without the scenes he personally authored, the hypertext novel would have been, absolute drivel. Utterly, beyond the point of redemption, drivel and slander.
 
 This reviewer did note a certain, almost strange, sense of jealousy in Mr. Marquardts narrative of the turbulent rise and fall of the Unknown, there they were drinking champagne at Brown University and hobnobbing with visionaries and celebrities and where was I? Where was I? I was still working, chained to a desk at day and furiously working at night towards the mastery of such skill as they would never know. I was a writer, damn them. And now, and now, they are gone. Wheres The Unknown now? Its not up there on the bestseller list with the Fortune Cookie Guide to Good Living V, now is it? On the other hand, warmth often shines through in Mr. Marquardts rendering of his presumably deceased (though the bodies were never found and a sizeable amount of cash is still missing) comrades, in the Unknown. Three guys those were guys.
 
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