To: Frank Marquardt
Date: November 21, 1994
Story: What She Said
I like this story. I think (or suspect or whatever) that you are doing something here that is very difficult to do, liberally using your own experience in your writing, even using your own name. Regardless of the source, this is a well written portrayal of a sensitive individuals desperate attempt to establish some kind of companionship. Yet at the same time, you can see things from the womans point of view, why she might not want to get involved with this slightly obsessive individual. The story is still rough, and I dont see the point of some of the tangents, and Im not sure that I completely understand the structure. Some specific criticisms:
- The Lewis Mumford exposition doesnt fit for me. I dont see what significance it has to the specific themes of the story; the Garden City thing doesnt have much to do with sexuality or human relationships.
- The constant use of the f - g blanks irritates the s t out of me. If youre just doing this to avoid using real names (like Steak and Shake)dont. Its cute and pointless.
- Also, there are a couple of places where you use she said instead of she askedis this just cuteness with the title?
- Good restaurants in Chicago include the Parthenon in Greektown, the Irish Village on the Northwest Side, Ginos or Lou Malnatis for pizza, The Pelican (I think) for Bohemian, anywhere around Wrigleyville for Mexican, The Berghoff downtown, Chinese in Chinatown, and some great Thai joints around Bucktown.